How can you practice the tools of persuasion?

In the many rhetoric video chats I hold with students—as many as four or five a week—I often get this question. Gabriel Davis, who studies at the Little Rock Christian Academy, asked it perfectly in a follow-up email:

My question is, what practices can I use to get better at using rhetoric and at arguing? Right now I'm really slow to think about which technique to use. So how can I get better?

Hi, Gabriel,

I often get asked which tools to pull out when things get uncomfortable or when you have a sudden need to get your point across. The answer: Don’t try. Not yet, anyway. I wrote Thank You for Arguing in the hope that it would help spark in the reader a rhetorical habit of mind, a way of seeing (or hearing!) the world as a rhetorician. That means starting with the most important tool of all: your ears.

1. Try to listen for what people want, what they seem to believe, and the impression they’re trying to make on others. Listen to what marketers, politicians, and influencers are saying online. What specific audiences or tribes are they speaking to? What beliefs are they assuming? Are their words and images mostly ethical, speaking to values and identities? Pathetic, playing on or changing emotions? Or logical, employing facts or fallacies?

2. When you’re in a conversation, don’t feel you have to argue. Just ask questions—ask for facts. Ask if those facts have to do with a trend. Ask where the speaker got the facts. Decide whether those facts really do lead to the speaker’s conclusion. Instead of offering an opposing view, critique the argument itself. “This is really interesting, but I’m not sure you’ve convinced me yet.” When forced to improve their argument, people tend to modify their opinion, making it less extreme. You’ve moved the needle rhetorically, without actually seeming to argue. That counts as a win in my book.

3. Then there’s how you project yourself, creating a first-rate ethos. Always try to be the grownup in the room, keeping a cool head, listening well. If someone wants your opinion, think of the two wisest words in rhetoric: “That depends.” The secret to a great phronesis—the impression you give that you’re a great problem solver—is to understand that every situation is different. Remember your classmate’s question about the car? Her parents had given her little sister a brand-new one, while she was stuck commuting to college in an older car. My first thought was, “That depends on how old that car is.” When she told me that it was a 2012 model, I saw a potential logical argument: a car that old can cost more for annual repairs than a lease might be. (Keep in mind that I’m a terrible mechanic and drive a 2012 truck myself. “That depends” made me sound like I knew what I was talking about.)

All this boils down to one thing: everything is rhetorical.

Birds sing figures of speech (patterns of sounds) to attract mates and find territory. The clothes we wear make a statement, whether we mean to or not.

Everybody wants something. This parent wants her child’s safety. This teenager wants independence. This dark-skinned woman wants respect. This elder book author wants young people to learn rhetoric and restore the rhetoric-centered, classical values that shaped our civilization (or is he just trying to sell books?).

Everyone believes in a set of “truths” and values. Even in our deeply divided culture, we have many values in common.

By listening for those common beliefs and values, desires and arguments, you’ll fulfill your potential as a leader. Keep practicing, and go save the world.

Best,

Jay

Exercise your mind! Subscribe to this blog.